Few weeks ago, my life started to not work smoothly, I felt out of balance. Actually, it became very abrupt. First, a few little details started to not run well. I overlooked them, and kept on pushing forward.
Then a few relationships with loved people started to be tense. I overlooked them, and kept pushing forward.
Finally, my health came crashing down and collapsed painfully. At this point, I stopped and listened.

It was two days before the winter solstice, and though I live now in warm Bali, winter is still a time when energies go inward. It’s the Yin part of the year. Nourishment, silence and rest.

I gave myself full permission to stop and nourish. To ask myself what my soul is telling me, what my body needs and why (again) I wasn’t listening carefully enough.

This is the way our magnificent system works. We are not only flesh and bones, we have a complex emotional system, a mind and a soul. We operate simultaneously in many levels, and the integration of all of them in harmony is key for our evolution and happiness.

Unfortunately, in this world, we never get taught how to listen to the signs of these many levels where we exist, we only get taught how to identify and treat symptoms. But where is the root?

When life does not seem to be working, when it becomes difficult most of the time and 2 every 3 things we try do not work is time to stop.

Simply STOP

Take a day or two, and go inward. Deeply listen to what your emotions, body and soul are telling you. I chose a mantra this last time that helped me go through the process:

Whatever is non-essential… let it go.

These words helped me to not follow threats of thoughts that were leading me down dark paths of stress, to do lists, regrets or self-criticism. It also helped me to stay present with my body and what I was feeling, that at times was everything but pleasant, but definitely had a lot of information encoded.

But first and foremost, these words helped me connect with the essential, with what is truly me, beyond the superficial things of life that seem to be so important and are so absorbing. It reconnected me with what I am. And you know what? What I am is magnificent. Is already perfect. Is in pure harmony and feels peaceful.

prayer

Now I am sitting in front of my favorite view of Ubud, in my little villa overlooking the rice fields. A sense of inner peace has invaded me, and the piles of things to do, projects to get going on, people to meet or finances to take care of, are not affecting this peace.
I love the metaphor of a calm water surface, maybe because I am a Pisces, maybe because wherever I find home there is always a body of water. Today is the small swimming pool of my Balinese vila, the calm water reflects the world around, and it dances without moving more than a slight ripple here and there when the wind caresses her skin…

I am like this water: I can reflect the frantic dance of life on my surface, but remain calm and peaceful in my essence, rippling gracefully from time to time when a warm wind touches my heart.

Always with love

Layla